Donya's Blog About Ben

Donya's Blog
This is where you can read about how I met Ben and what it's like to be friends with a "Ghosty Boy."  

                                   How I met Ben
I was riding my bike through the park one day in March of 2012.  I suddenly felt something that suggested cold fingers on the back of my neck and I shivered.  I had read enough ghost stories to know that invisible cold fingers and unwarranted shivering are ways ghosts make their presence known.  I quickly knew who was trying to draw attention to himself because I suddenly had images of him in my mind.  I knew who he was because one of my friends had recently posted a collection of information about him on Facebook.  Reading the articles and watching the videos, I became interested in him and his work even though I had never cared about it before.
     Once I realized who was chilling me I also realized it couldn't be him because he wasn't dead. However I raced home and Googled him and learned that he had recently been admitted to a hospital for a "routine procedure."  I sat down at the keyboard and typed to him.  I asked him who he was and why he was chilling me.  He identified himself.  I could hear his answers and typed them.  It was sort of like automatic writing but it wasn't automatic.  The answers I got from him were not very coherent.  I got that he was trying not to die.  He was tired and wanted to die but he needed to stay alive long enough to provide for a small child.  He came back a couple of days later and told me that he had made provisions for the child. 
     Because Ben was well known in his field of endeavor his illness and death were covered in the news media. I was able to learn that he had undergone emergency surgery for a hemorrhage that started while he was in the hospital for his regular (routine) cancer treatment.  None of the reports mentioned a near-death experience but I concluded that he must have been out of his body when he contacted me. I also learned that he had a small, problematic, late-in-life daughter who didn't fit into his original financial plans.  
     One day about two weeks after the first time he contacted me he showed up again and asked if he could stay with me.  He said no one in his family could hear him and he needed someone to talk to.  I wasn't sure what "staying with" me consisted of, but he was pleasant and he didn't take up any space, so I said okay.  Shortly after he made this request I learned from the media that he had gone into a coma.  I kept a notebook close at hand and picked up a pen whenever he chilled or buzzed or tingled me.  I could also talk to him whenever I wanted to.  I usually initiated a conversation by writing two question marks on a page.  Part of what we talked about was finding a way to get a message to his family to say that he was all right.  But mostly he just seemed to enjoy hanging out with me.  He went to movies and plays with me and my friends. He enjoyed whatever I ate or drank and sometimes requested special items including his favorite tea and his favorite beer.  And cake frosting.  During the first few weeks he hung out with me he was obsessive about cake frosting, even waking me up in the middle of the night and asking me to eat some so he could taste it.  During movies or plays or musical events he would chill me to pick up my pen and notebook so he could comment.  We went with me and one of my friends to a baseball game one time.  I commented to him that it didn't get good until our team finally scored in the ninth inning.  He replied, "I liked the tenth inning."  
     Eventually the news reported that Ben was coming out of the coma.  I said, "I guess you won't be talking to me any more now that you are conscious."  Much to my surprise he practically begged me to let him "stay."   He said no one else could hear him.  It was a couple of weeks before I found a news report that said that, after a promising start in which he talked to family members and doctors, he was suddenly unable to communicate except by blinking his eyes.  
     He continued writing to me and I was gradually introducing him to my friends.  I also started a secret group for  him on Facebook so that friends who were interested in him could talk to  him and ask questions which he would answer with my help.  He liked to answer questions about "the Timeless Spaceless place"  which he says is where people go when they leave their bodies.  
    One night late in May Ben  was very restless and woke me up a number of times just being fretful.  He wanted assurance that I wasn't going to leave him or send him away.  I thought he might be dying but couldn't tell for sure.  Later that afternoon I learned that he had indeed left his body. I wept helplessly even as I was writing to him to ask if it was true and he was telling me that it was true but that everything was okay.   What was interesting to me later was that when he came to me and was so fussy he had already been dead for several hours.  I couldn't tell the difference between Ben in a coma and Ben dead.  
     Later I asked him why he hadn't told me he was dead and he said he was afraid I wouldn't want him.  He said, "People don't want ghosts.  They tell us to go to the stupid white light or something and I don't want to."  I told him he could stay with me as long as he wanted to.  I later learned that it is not a good idea to encourage a dead person's spirit to linger after it leaves the body, but he had his reasons and I saw no harm in letting him stay.  
     Eventually of course he did "cross over" and it turned out not to be as big a deal as he had anticipated.  He said it was like unplugging your charger on this side and plugging it in over there to the Source.  He informed me he was now free to come back and be my "guardian dead guy" and that he would also be helping other reluctant souls to cross over.   He continues entertaining FB friends in his secret group and he persuaded me to start this website for him where he shares his insights into life and afterlife.
dw

---