Dum Dum the Clown
March 1, 2015
Today's Wake-Up visitor is George. It took a long time to get him to talk to me. He thought he was being punished in the Gray Space. When I told him he could leave any time as soon as he let go of whatever he was clinging to from his earthly life he clammed up. Scribbled little pictures but wouldn't talk. Finally I got him to tell me that he didn't want anyone to steal his clownface. He was a clown and his face was registered but he was afraid his exclusive claim would run out when he died. Or that no one would enforce it. I called Ben and when Ben introduced himself George said, "I am the Best Deaf and Dumb Clown." Then he said, "I have the best face and everybody knows me. I am The Deaf and Dumb clown. I don't want some hearing guy stealing my face and using it to make fun of deaf people." Ben asked him what he intended to do and he said he would stay and watch and haunt anyone who tried to steal his face. Ben said that he didn't think George wanted to contribute to the fear a lot of people already feel about clowns. George said he didn't want someone using his face to be a scary clown. Ben said it was a sweet face and it was obvious why children loved him. He said he didn't think anyone would wear that face who didn't want to be loved as much as George was. Finally Ben said he would take George to the TSP and they could look around and find some promising clowns and George could choose one to be his successor. Then they would arrange for the young clown to meet George's wife and they would tell her that he is the one and she would give him George's trunk and permission to use George's face and take care of whatever legalities might be involved. George said he wanted his successor to be deaf. Ben said they could start their search at Gallaudet College. And George said there are a lot of clowns at Gallaudet, most of them professors.
Wake-up Pages October 2015
Wake-up Pages Oct. 11, 2015
Our Wake-up visitor today is Louise. It took me all day to get her story. I kept getting interrupted.
L: I'm here.
M: Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
L: It's all right. I don't have to scratch my butt or nothing.
L It's all right cause I can't feel how long nothing takes and I'm not uncomfortable or hurting or itching or hungry or thirsty or in a hurry to go no place.
M: Oh good. Now what can I do for you?
L: I want help with my grandsons.
M: Are they dead?
L: No and I don't want them to be. But they sure are riding hard for a fall.
M: But you're dead?
L: I am. I'm an old woman. Probably should have died a long time ago.
L: Well, I had to take care of my boys. My grandsons. Weren't nobody else going to do it.
M: Their parents?
L: Both dead. All dead-- steps, live-ins and all. I gotta be there for my grandsons. They ain't got nobody but me to keep telling them right from wrong and smart from stupid.
M: I'll get Ben to talk to you.
B: Hello Louise, I'm Ben.
L: Proud to know you.
B: Likewise. You've been a good grandmother. Worked hard for those boys.
L: Lord knows that's right.
B: You've earned a good long rest.
L: Can't leave my boys.
B: It's too late; you died.
L: Guess I can't help them from here. Can I?
B: No. but you can if you move on to the TSP.
L: You mean Heaven? I don't feel right going to heaven when there is work left to do.
B: When you go to the Timeless Spaceless place, which includes Heaven, you'll be able to watch over your grandsons and help them make right choices and warn them of danger.
L: Sounds like being a grandma.
B: Exactly. They won't see you usually. But you can make your presence known and you can recruit others to help you.
L: What others?
B: #Ancestors, angels, saints. All kinds of help.
L: That sounds mighty fine. I was going to ask if I could go back, but tell you the truth, I'm just too tired.
B: Let me take you home. You can have a nice long rest, enjoy some of the things you never had time for and then check in on the boys from over there.
L: I guess I can't say no. I know I won't win if I do. You're sure somebody will be there to help my boys.
B: Look up there. Toward the light.
L: My oh my. That's everyone I ever knew or ever wanted to know.
B: Waiting to welcome you.
L: Lordy I can't hardly wait. I wish I could run to meet them. OH! I am running to meet them.
B: Bye Louise.
L: Thank you Ben.
Wake-up Pages October, 2015
October 9, 2015
Today's Wake-up visitor is Earnest.
E: I'm here. I killed my wife and children.
M: Why did you do that?
E: I tried to live and I failed. So I killed them so... (scribble)
E: I didn't want to TROUBLE them. I thought if they died with me it would be better than to try to live without their father.
M: Did you kill yourself?
E: I did. Yes. I was so sad and frightened. I was afraid of all the awful things that could happen to me and my kids. We needed to escape.
M: And now you're in the Gray Space?
E: I'm in Empty space. Like a box of nothing. I thought I would be in hell.
M: You killed yourself even though you thought you would go to hell?
E: Yes I did. I didn't think I could suffer more than I was already suffering.
M: Why were you suffering? You had a nice life. You weren't in pain, were you?
E: Being afraid is a form of suffering. I thought if I just went ahead and experienced the worst, I wouldn't have anything else to fear.
M: I'll get Ben.
B: Hi Earnest. I'm Ben.
E: I'm a murderer.
B: You were. You're just energy now.
E: I failed my family and I was afraid to leave them. I didn't want them to suffer.
B: Misguided but noble.
E: I wanted to stop being afraid. It was horrible to live in fear all the time.
B: Something went wrong with your brain. You're supposed to be able to feel fear so you can run from predators and stuff. But it was like your fear switch got stuck in the "on" position. It must have been terrible for you.
E: It was. I was in agony all the time. It got worse as I got older. I was making my children afraid too. I didn't want them to be like me.
B: Want to go to the TSP and start over?
E: I started to say I'm afraid. But Im really not. I feel a tremendous sense of relief since I have been in this grey space. But...
E: I have to be punished, don't I? Is there a hell? People who commit suicide go there. And so do murderers. I've heard.
B: You heard a lot of wrong things. When you get to the TSP you'll be repaired. It will be sort of like that scene in the Wizard of Oz.
E: In the Emerald City? Where everyone gets #repaired and beautified?
B: Yes. It's a little like that.
E: Will I get new straw in my head?
B: You'll get what you need. Just like the Scarecrow and Dorothy and the Tin Man and the Lion each got the right treatment depending on what he or she was made of and how they were damaged.
E: Why did it happen? Was I born that way on purpose? Surely I didn't choose to be born with my fear switch stuck. Was it a mistake? I thought God didn't make mistakes, but if anyone was a mistake, I was.
B: Earnest, we choose to be born into a great adventure knowing that things can go wrong. We are born into bodies that can fail us in a million different ways. Once in a while someone chooses a life with a handicapping condition either to provide themselves with a greater challenge or a different range of experiences or to give other people an opportunity to learn something unusual. And sometimes something happens because it's one of the nearly infinite number of things that can go wrong and sometimes do.
E: I would have liked being alive if I hadn't been afraid all the time. Looking back I see so many beautiful moments with my kids that I would have enjoyed so much if I hadn't been afraid of everything that could go wrong and everything bad that might happen.
B: How about looking ahead and starting over?
E: I don't want to go through all that again.
B: You can start with a new body and a new brain.
E: Can I have my wife and kids again?
B: They're on your soul team. They'll help you plan your next life.
E: I don't want to be afraid.
B: You can put that in the plan.
E: I want to wake up every day feel that there is nothing I can't handle. I want to feel that life is a glorious adventure and that I'm so brave I can protect people who aren't as sufficient as I am. I want to know I can rescue people and animals if they are in danger and I can help them and not fear for myself. But not be stupid. I will be brave because I will know that I can do whatever is called for.
B: Drowning children, burning buildings, muggers? Terrorists?
E: It will be WHATEVER. I'll be able to handle it because I'll be the Man who Can.
B: Let's move on, shall we?
E: I'm ready.
B: See the light?
E: I see it.
B: That's where you're going. I'll walk with you.
E: Great. While we're walking I'll tell you how brave I'm going to be. I want to get my mane permed.
B: Like the Lion?
E: Yes. I want to look fabulous while I'm being brave.
Ben is "an ordinary dead guy" and Donya helps him help other dead people move on to the TSP