Shepherd the Kick-Ass Mountain Climber
Sept. 7, 2014
S: I'm Shepherd.
Me:Your name is Shepherd?
S: My grandmother's maiden name.
Me: Oh. Nice. What can I do for you?
S: I want to……..
S: I'm dead, aren't I?
Me: In a sense, yes.
S: I left my body on the floor of a canyon.
Me: Mountain climbing?
S: I took a fall.
Me: You weren't on a rope?
S: I was. I fell too far. My pitons didn't stop me. I fell all the way to the bottom.
Me That doesn't sound right. Were you murdered?
S: I was hitting hard. I couldn't get a hand-hold. I fell all the way to the bottom of the mountain.
Me: Was someone belaying you?
S: __________ (silence)
S: Shepherd pie.
S: I'm a big SPLAT! I just kept falling.
Me: Did it hurt? When you hit the ground?
S: No. I felt a lot of bumps and scratches on the wall but by the time I got to the ground I was fine.
S: Not feeling.
Me. What can I help you with?
S: I'm sitting on the dock of the bay.
Me: Watching the tide roll in?
S: Then I watch it roll away again.
Me Sounds pleasant enough.
S: I want to be someplace with Mountains. I want to see for miles and breathe air that tastes like ____________(silence)
S: Something. It's thin and sweet and so pure.
Me: Is that why you are still here? To climb mountains?
S: I want to climb every mountain.
Me: Ford every stream?
S: Screw the streams. I want to climb the mountains.
Me: I'd better get Robin. I was going to tell you that there are mountains in the TSP but I don't know.
B: I'm here.
Me: This is Shepherd. He is a mountain climber.
S: I want to climb mountains, not sit on a cloud and play a stupid harp.
Me: I wanted to tell him everything is possible in the TSP but I don't know about mountains.
B: Good call PIP. There are mountains if someone puts them there.
Me: You can create mountains?
B: Sure, just like everything else. But that isn't going to satisfy a climber. One of the reasons we incarnate is to experience and challenge things that are impossibly bigger and more powerful than we are. I bet you loved being alive, didn't you, Shepherd?
S: Oh god yes! Every minute.
B: And all those scars and calluses and broken bones?
S: I earned every one of them. I left blood on every continent on earth.
Me: Even Antarctica?
S: Paper cut. But I was there. And I’ll be back. They have some awesome mountains there. I love all the extremes.
Me: Would you do it again if you could?
S: Are you kidding? I'd do it again a million times. I would never die if I could find a way to live forever.
Me: You had an awesome body. What if you were a woman?
S: Ha! I'd be the most kick-ass woman on the planet.
Me: What if you were a slave?
S: Ha. I be the world's most kick-ass slave. Probably lead a fucking revolution.
Me: What if you had a really bad handicap like you were paraplegic or something.
S: Then I'd be a kick-ass paraplegic. I'd figure out everything a paraplegic can do and I'd do it. I'd climb Mt Everest hand over hand. Don't you get it? Being alive is awesome and the more challenges the better. I love the challenge of being alive and touching every single mountain, rock, stone and piece of dirt. I want more!
B: Well this is your lucky day.
B: Because there are a million more opportunities waiting in the TSP.
S: What's the the TSP.
B: It's where we go to start again.
S: I can do it again?
B: Yep. It's pretty standard. You get together with your soul team and plan what sort of experience you are going to have.
S: Great. I can't wait. Is that bastard, Ranjee on my team?
B: He's your soul mate.
S: S.O.B. He sure is. Dropped my damn rope.
Me: He killed you?
S: Accidentally on purpose. Thinks he's #1 now. Ha. Next time I'll shove him up a chimney or something.
Me: You went climbing with someone who wanted to kill you?
S: You really don't understand about life, do you? It's about doing things and feeling things. You really can't get all the juice out unless you have an enemy to share it with.
B: Ready to go Shepherd?
S: Hell yes.
B: Hell is just a metaphor. It doesn't exist.
S: Too bad. I'd love to meet the devil and kick his ass.