April 18, 2015 Wake-up Pages
L: I'm here. I'm Lucia.
L: I'm here and I want to go to a better place.
M: Do you know why you are here?
L: I killed him.
L: The baby boy.
M: What baby boy?
L: He was the baby who lived in the house where I worked and I killed him.
M: Why did you do that?
L: I was trying to fix his house. (Home?)
M: I don't understand.
L: He was being a bad baby. He was noisy. His mother cried and said he was too bad.
M: The baby upset the mother?
L: She wanted him to go away so I put a pillow on his face. It was not a good thing to do. But his mother felt better. And her husband was glad his wife was happy.
M: They didn't feel bad about losing their baby?
L: No. I wanted them to be like they were before. Now they are.
M: I'll get Ben.
B: I'm Ben. How are you, Lucia?
M: I'm in a gray space and I want to be someplace else.
B: What are you holding on to from this life?
L: I'm not.
B: No? Then you're ready to move ahead?
L: I'm afraid. I killed the baby and I will be punished. In Hell.
B: Hell is an imaginary construct.
L: I should be punished. I killed a baby. He was a troublesome baby but he didn't mean to be. He couldn't help crying all the time. He needed someone to make him feel better and no one knew what to do, even the doctors.
B: We need for you to go to the TSP so you can learn why this happened and what parts you were playing in each others lives. The baby is already there and he can tell you who he is and why he needed to be killed. (Pause)
Were you arrested for the death?
L: No one knew. He was considered SIDS. He died. No one even asked why. He was so tiny. He did not deserve to be killed.
B: Do you think in your next life you will want to do something different?
L: I want to make sure babies are healthy and safe and they have people who can make them feel better so they don't die.
B: That would be a ...?
L: A doctor. I want to be a baby doctor and teach mothers and fathers to help their babies. I wanted to have children. I wanted to be a wife but I didn't. I never did. I helped other people and took care of their children But I always remember the baby boy that I killed.
B: Why don't you go on over to the TSP and start planning your next life. You can meet your team and plan to help all the babies in the world.
L: I don't know. I want to but I just can't.
B: Okay. Here's someone to meet you.
C: Lucia, I'm Charles. Remember me?
L: Yes. No.
C: I was a baby when you saw me last.
L: Baby Charles. Oh no.
C: I was an unhappy baby. I was in pain all the time. I had something wrong with my intestines. They were twisted and I was miserable. No one knew and there wasn't anything they could do. I would have died soon and I would have been in pain the whole time.
L: I'm sorry I killed you.
C: I want to help babies to live better. I want to make medical discoveries and learn how to help babies with problems we don't understand yet.
L: That's what I want to do.
C: I know. We can work together and help a lot of babies.
L: I want to be able to see what's wrong with a baby and fix it.
C: Me too. We can have the best baby hospital in the world. and teach other doctors and parents and save babies so they don't have to be unhappy.
L: Let's get started. I want to start right away. Ben, may we go now?
B: I'm sure Charles will be happy to escort you to the Timeless Spaceless Place.
Nelson Lost His Trombone
2 January 2015Today's Wake-up Pages visitor was a sweet, gentle soul who waited patiently for me to get out my notebook.
N: I'm Nelson. I'm trying to find my trombone. I left it in the hotel. I need it for the concert tonight. I play with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra. I ran out without my trombone. The building was shaking. Everyone ran outside. I was terrified. I didn't stop for anything.
Me: Did the shaking stop?
N: It must have.
M: Can you go back inside?
N: The hotel is gone. I'm in a space. Gray empty. This isn't how San Francisco looks. Even an earthquake wouldn't erase everything.
M: I'll get Ben.
B: Hello Nelson, I'm Ben.
N: Can you help me find my trombone?
B: Nelson, you are dead. Your trombone was dug out of the rubble only slightly damaged and given to your brother.
N: What am I supposed to do now?
B: You are ready to move on to the Timeless Spaceless place. It's where we go to start over, where creation happens.
N: Do I have to go? I loved San Francisco and our orchestra. It was all my dreams come true.
B: Is there anything you might have wanted to do differently?
N: Well yes. I might have been a trumpet player. I adore the sound of a trumpet. I would love to be a trumpet soloist.
B: You could work that into your plans for your next life.
N: I stopped in New Orleans for a while on my way west. I would love to play like those colored boys play. I wouldn't want to be colored because they live such very hard lives. But it would almost be worth it to be able to make music like that.
B: Let's head on over to the TSP and you can start planning your next gig.
N: I don't know where to go.
B: Listen. What do you hear?
N: I hear music. What a wonderful sound.
B: Just follow the music. (sings) "Oh when when the saints go marching in..."
N: I must hear more.
B: I'll march along with you for a while. (sings) "Oh Lord I want to be in that number, When the saints go marching in."
Donya: An odd little foot note. I was trying to figure out if Nelson might have known "When the Saints Go Marching In." He evidently died in the 1906 earthquake so the song would have to be older than that. While I was googling I came across a reference to Wynton Marsalis. I suddenly felt like crying. I asked Robin what I was feeling and he said, That's who Nelson is now.