LESTER

9/21/14 Wake-up Pages

L: I'm Lester. I think it's time for me to go to Heaven. 
Me: Why aren't you there now?
L: I think it's because I wanted to stay and live in my Daughter's Big House.
Me: How is that working?
L: She thinks I'm a ghost. She keeps changing the channel when I watch something on TV. She turns off the water in the shower. It's one thing after another.
Me: Did you live with her before you died?
L: I lived with her while I was sick and in bed. It wasn't fun. It's a wonderful house and I like to ramble around and push buttons. She has a lot of electrical things. I can open windows, turn on lights, run the dishwasher. It's the perfect environment for a dead guy. 
Me: So you are hanging out because you like the house, not to be near your daughter?
L: Oh I'm not worried about losing my daughter. I know I'll be able to be in touch from heaven. I'm sure I can be her Guardian Dad or something. But her stuff is so cool. I love the patio shade that expands when you touch a button.
Me: You can have stuff like that in Heaven. 
L: I don't think so. Heaven is pretty old fashioned . Wings, harps, halos. I've never heard of any electronic devices in Heaven.
Me: How reliable is your information?
L: I guess ... I don't know.
Me: I'll get Ben. 
B: I'm Ben. Hello Lester.
L: Hi. I'm having fun but my daughter is getting cranky and impatient with me. She told me to go to Heaven.
B: At least she didn't say to go to the other place.
L: Ha! Good one. I know she loves me but her electrical things aren't working as well as they should be. I think she blames me.
B: You use a lot of energy being active in your disembodied state. It has to come from somewhere. 
L: You think I'm using energy from the electrical appliances?
B: And maybe even from her.
L: She has been kind of lethargic lately. 
B: Bad moods?
L: Regular cranky pants.
B: Definitely time to move on.
L: I'll miss the remote control devices.
B: You can have those in the TSP.
L: What's the TSP? Isn't Heaven where I'm going? 
B: The Timeless Spaceless Place is where everyone goes when they leave their bodies. There are infinite possibilities in the TSP, even Heaven.
L: I could have like 3 or 4 big-screen TVs and a remote for each and watch all the games?
B: You could even have a universal remote.
L: That would be Heaven. How do I get there? 
B: Look over there. What do you see? 
L: It looks like a big gate... to a stadium that's all lit up. Must be for a night game. And look at the crowd! There's my wife. And my dad. Hey, Pop! Lucy! Save me a seat!