Wednesday's (12/3/14) Wake-up pages visitor was Clever. That's his name.
C: It's a silly name, but it's mine.
Me: What can I do for you, Clever?
C: I need help finding my tractor.
Me: Your tractor?
C: Yes, I lost it.
Me: A real tractor?
C: Yes Ma'am. It was a John Deere. I need it to do my plowing, planting, discing, rowing. (?) I need it to do my work.
Me: You're a farmer?
C: I surely am.
Me: How did you lose your tractor?
C: I was driving it and I was-- I was-- I-- I was driving the tractor and I stopped. I wanted to walk to the house and I fell down. And I couldn't get up. And then I saw the tractor over there but I couldn't touch it. Like it was a ghost tractor or something.
Me: I don't think it's the tractor that is the ghost.
C: Oh. I am. I'm a ghost? Dead? Oh doggone it. That makes sense. I'm dead.
Me: Do you think you can move on now?
C: I'm not even sure where I am.
Me: What do you see?
C: I can't see anything. It's almost like the back room at the general store where we used to play cards of an afternoon. So filled with smoke you could barely see your cards.
Me: Is it smokey where you are?
C: More like foggy. Doesn't satisfy like cigar smoke. It's just gray and gloomy.
Me: You need to move on to the Timeless, Spaceless Place so you can start over.
C: I don't want to start over. I want to finish what I started. I bought a brand new tractor. I need to make the final payment on it. Don't want Helen and Steven to have to deal with that.
Me: Wife and son?
C: Fine woman. Good boy. At least most of the time.
Me: I'll get Ben.
B: Hi Clever.
C: Howdy Ben. 'Scuse my appearance; I seem to be dead.
B: Don't worry about it. A lot of great people are dead.
C: I suppose you're right.
B: Want to cross over?
C: Well, I'm sure that would be fine but I'm worried about leaving my wife and son with that tractor to pay off. I don't want it to be repossessed. They're going to need it.
B: It's all right. Your neighbors have taken up a collection to pay it off.
C: Seriously? Why would they do that?
B: Oh you know. They're your neighbors. They're concerned about your wife and son. Apparently you're widely respected in your town.
C: Well I've always tried to do right by everybody. Lend a helping hand when I could.
B: You and that tractor have quite a reputation. Apparently you plowed more than a few acres for friends who needed help. And I heard something about rescuing a horse that got trapped in a mud hole.
C: Lands yes! What a day that was. Poor old Lefty.
B: Lefty? The horse?
C: Silly name for a horse. But we got him out of that hole, none the worse.
B: These folks don't want your family to lose that tractor. Besides, nobody seems to like the guy who sold it to you. They don't want him to get it back.
C: Ha! That's the truth, ain't it? The man's a shark. He'd repossess his mother's teeth if he got the chance.
B: So it looks like your tractor is safe and you can move on to the TSP.
C: Are you talking about Heaven?
B: Not just Heaven.
C: Oh good. I'm a God-fearing man and I read the good book but I don't care much for the prospect of living in paradise with nothing to do. It would be like being in church all the time.
B: I know what you mean. An hour or two of that was about all I could ever take.
C: So I could go someplace else? But not hell?
B: Sure, you can create whatever you want. The TSP is where all of creation happens.
C: That sounds like fun. I've always enjoyed inventing things.
B: This is your chance to invent a new life.
C: Can I create a new life with Helen and Steve in it?
B: Sure can. You just have to focus.
C: Well dang, I sure know how to do that. Let's go.