Oct. 17, 2014 Wake-up Pages
Me: Anybody here?
S: I'm here. I'm Serena. I'm in a place that looks like a corridor.
Me: Why are you there?
S: I was on my way to the store. I wanted to find some salad fixings. We always eat a lot of salad in the winter in Maine because it's easier than eating soup.
Me: How do you get salad fixings in Maine in winter?
Farmers. Greenhouses. It's not so difficult.
Me: And they sell to the stores?
S: In the winter. In the summer we have farmers' markets everywhere.
Me: Okay. So what happened?
S: I was on my way to buy some produce and I slipped on the ice.
Me: In your car?
S: I was already in the store and there was ice on the floor from the freezer. I think someone's child was playing with it.
Me: So you slipped?
S: And I hit my head on the floor and I was unconscious. And I heard someone say, "Oh oh, that old battleaxe is going to sue us for the world." And someone else said, "Call 911." So the ambulance arrived and I was put inside and I saw the store owner say something to the paramedic. I never made it to the hospital. And now I'm in this corridor that I thought would lead to heaven but it doesn't seem to go anywhere.
Me: Maybe Ben can help.
B: I'm Ben. Hello Serena.
S: Hello Ben. I'm trying to find the way to heaven.
B: Why do you think you aren't there already?
S: Because I'm not leaving until I find out who murdered me.
B: You were murdered?
S: I think the guy in the ambulance accidentally/on purpose did something.
B: Why would he do that?
S: He was friends with the store owner. He was afraid I would sue him again.
B: You sued him before?
S: If he can't keep his store safe he has to expect consequences.
B: Can't you just forget it and move on?
S: I believe in consequences.
B: What about for you?
S: I have never done anything to deserve consequences.
B: I heard that your lawsuit against the store owner cost him so much he couldn't afford to send his son to college.
S: Fine. No one deserves a free ride. He should get a job and earn his way through college.
B: He did. He got some training. He became an EMT and ambulance driver. Figured it was as close as he was going to come to being a doctor, at least for a while.
S: You mean that young man was--- That's despicable--- He as much as murdered me.
B: Would you expect him to let you destroy what was left of his father's life savings?
S: Monster! I demand justice.
B: There's not much you can do from here.
S: There were witnesses. Surely someone would come forward and denounce that man. He should be put out of business.
B: And then where would your neighbors get their fresh produce in winter?
S: Oh. Still it isn't right. There must be consequences.
B: You mean like consequences for going to the same well too often?
S: I don't know what you mean.
B: Listen, Serena. Everything gets sorted out in the Timeless Spaceless Place. Why don't you just come on over and let the Infinite Wisdom deal with it?
S:And if I refuse?
B: Then you just stay here.
S: Fine. What happens then?
S: For how long?
B: There's no time here so there's no limit.
S: You mean I could just stand here in this empty gray space forever?
B: Pretty much.
S: Indeterminate sentencing leaves too much power in the hands of judges and parole boards.
B: Do you see a judge or a parole board?
S: Well I don't suppose you normally see those people when you are in prison.
B: You're not in prison.
S: Well then, why can't I leave?
B: You can. Just walk through the door.
S: I tried. The door is locked.
B: Oh yeah. That door is to your past. You can't get there from here. You want the other door. The one over there, with the golden light seeping through the cracks.
S: Where does that door lead?
B: Home. To the place we all go back to when we leave our bodies. Where creation takes place.
S: What's good about it?
B: They have fresh organic produce all year around.
S: Even in Winter?
B: You'd have to create a winter for that to happen, but, yeah, sure.
S: Why didn't you say so? I'm outta here.
Wake-up Pages visitor, May 18, 2015, is another one who insisted that I write his story down. He said his name is Markus.
M: I want everyone to know about being a person who believes in heroes. I believed there were men who could save us.
DW: Save us?
M: Save civilization and we could all be happy if we trusted them.
DW: Any hero in particular?
M: I thought the Fuhrer was the answer to all the world's sadnesses.
DW: How did that work out?
M: I was as bad as they come. I believed that the people I killed were the enemies of our DESERVED HAPPINESS.
DW: What do you think now?
M: I was a fool. I was lied to but I chose to believe the lies.
DW: What were the lies?
M: That our problems could be solved by removing people who had caused the problems. The people who wanted to be like us but they were different.
DW: When did you realize you had been wrong?
M: In the day I died. I was walking to work and I saw people being marched to railroad cars and I realized I wasn't happy and that I never would be happy if people had to die to make me happy.
DW: What happened?
M: I started telling the soldiers it was wrong; the people they were arresting had done nothing to deserve this.
DW: Not good politics.
M: I was having a breakdown I suppose.
DW: Did they arrest you?
M: Just put a bullet through my heart. He was a good shot. I'm grateful he did it quick.
DW: So now?
M: I'm here in the gray space.
DW: Why don't you move on?
M: I can't forgive myself.
DW: I'll get Ben.
B: Hi. I'm Ben.
M: I'm Markus. I was a Nazi.
B: That was hard, being a person with intentions to do right.
M: I tried to put my best into supporting the Leader who would lead us into the New World. I didn't realize the sacrifices being made.
B: You can go home now. You have done your part.
M: I can't. I want to go back and fight against the 3rd Reich.
B: Hey. Be cool. You did stand up and fight. It was a short battle.
M: I could have joined the underground or left the country and joined another army.
B: Guess what. You did all those things and more. In the Timeless Spaceless place you can see and experience all the possibilities you lived and died and how they all worked out.
M: But I remember everything I said and did. I'm not imagining it.
B: Everything you said and did in this physical lifetime in this dimension. Once you stop clinging to this life and and it's memories you can go on to the TSP and create new life and new possibilities.
M: I'm ashamed.
B: No need to be. You made better and more heroic choices in other versions of this life. Of course you also made worse choices.
M: How could I do that?
B: You had a very ambitious military career in one version of the story.
M: Surely not.
B: Some young fool started criticizing you for exterminating human vermin and you turned around an put a bullet through his head.
M: You mean...?
B: Yep. You worked hard to be a good and loyal soldier and you weren't about to put up with kibitzing from an obvious traitor.
M: Oh my god was that Karma?
B: No. It was just playing out all the possibilities. We all experience as many views of an event as possible.
M: Karma is just doing everything?
B: Yes it's not about debts and paybacks or catch-ups. That story is a little more reasonable than Heaven and Hell but still not a very good explanation of life after death or life after life.
M: I'd like to leave the gray space now.
B: Okay. I'll walk with you until you see someone waiting to greet you.
9/9/'14 Wake-up Pages
K: I'm Kristina. I love my friend.
Me: Is that a problem?
K: I want to marry her.
Me: I don't think that is possible now.
K: We waited a long long time. We wanted to get married but there were laws. We really wanted to be married. It wasn't fair.
Me: Laws have changed in a lot of places.
K: AND I DIED! We were planning our wedding. I was going to wear Lavender and she was going to wear pink and we were both going to have bouquets. It isn't FAIR.
Me: How long were you together?
K: 8 years!
Me: How did you die?
K: I was in the hospital and I pulled all my tubes out. I GAVE UP. I said I'll never be whole. What was the point?
Me: How did she feel about that?
K: She was so ANGRY. I didn't know she could be so angry. She called me a selfish Bitch.
Me: What did you expect?
K: I didn't think she would want me with no BREASTS. She's angry at me about that too. Who did I think she was? Some shallow floozie?
Me: And now?
K: I can't leave. I can't go someplace and be happy while she is hating me for leaving her.
Me: Ben, can you help Kristina?
B: Hello Kristina. Hello? I'm over here. Kristina. Can you look at me?
Me: She only has eyes for one.
B: I'll say. Kristina, what is your fiancee's name?
B: Okay, you and Sheila are going to have to work things out. But you can't do it from here. You are going to have to cross over.
K: Are you talking about going to the LIGHT? Cause I don't want to go to some stupid light and be with a bunch of damn happy people floating around and BSing about love and joy and shit.
B: Fortunately for you a great many people in the TSP are as unhappy as you are. At least in the beginning.
K: Whoopee. Did they wait eight years to marry the woman they loved because of a lot of stupid laws and then get sick and die as soon as the laws were changed?
B: If I told you that happened to couples who waited fifty or sixty years, would it make you feel any better?
K: No. Ha. I guess I really am a selfish bitch.
B: If you want to get back together with Sheila you're going to have to come to the TSP.
K: And wait for years and years for her to come too?
B: There are no years. It's the Timeless Spaceless Place. And anyway, she's already there.
K: What?! She died?
B: No. We never really leave the TSP. The part that incarnates is only a fraction of who and what we really are.
K: Can Sheila and I come back and be together in another life?
B: Sure if that's what you agree to do. You won't be the same people you were. You might be sisters or brothers or presidential running mates.
K: Can we be Rock Hudson and Doris Day?
B:Those lives have been lived, but you can develop something similar. Good looking, rich and famous co-stars. You might want to leave out the part about the disease that killed him and the way he contracted it.
K: Yes. Beautiful people who are sexually attracted to each other and don't get horrible diseases. I want to do that.
B: Okay. Let's get started.
K: How do we get there?
B: I'll drive you in my new limo.
K: It's fabulous!
B: If you say, "Home, James" you get out and walk.
K: How about "Home, Ben"?
B: That works.