The Zen of Ben

Dec 11, 2014 Wake-up pages.

H: I'm Henrietta. I'm in a place. It's gray. I can't see any... things. It's not frightening. It's just dull.
Me: What can I do for you?
H: I'd like to be someplace else/different.
M: Any place in particular? 
H: The house by the river. It belonged to my parents and my mother's parents. It was very old. 
M: You can recreate that house in the TSP.
H: I can't just go back to the house?
M: I think haunting is an option.
H: I wouldn't like that.
M: Ben?
B: After you go to the TSP you can go back and visit without using the energy of the inhabitants. 
H: That sounds very good. How do I get to the TSP?
B: I'll walk with you. Or we can take this canoe?
H: I loved canoeing when I was a girl. Let's do. Which way do we paddle?
B: Just follow the river.

Dec. 5, 2014 Wake-up pages.

LUKE: I'm Luke. I want to go to the place where my father is. 
ME: Where is he?
L: I think he is in Japan. He died in Japan.
M: Is he Japanese?
L: He is American. He died in WWII.
M: Soldier?
L: He was a missionary.
M: During the war?! 
L: He didn't leave. 
M: Okay.
L: I meant to visit his grave but I never did . I feel bad that I never visited his place. 
M: I'll call Ben.
B: HI Luke. I'm Ben.
L: Hello Ben. I feel like I can't leave and go to heaven because I never paid respects to my father. 
B: Your father is in the TSP. You can talk to him there. 
L: But his body is in Japan. 
B: He isn't using it. He left it there a long time ago.
L: So I can never say the things I should have said to him.
B: Just go to the TSP and say it. He's there. 
L: What is the TSP?
B: The Timeless, Spaceless place. It's where we go when we leave our three-dimensional bodies.
L: I thought we go to Heaven. Or Hell if we're bad. I think I'm going to Hell.
B: Because you didn't visit your father's grave?
L: That, and because I'm gay.
B: Oh then, you really don't want to go to Heaven.
L: What? Of course I do.
B: Have you seen what they wear there?  Those long white robes are all off the same rack. Not a Gucci or Armani or couture in the lot.
L: You're making fun of me.
B: And, oh dem golden slippers! Fine for the ladies maybe, with the right outfit, but, seriously, would you be caught dead...?
L: Stop that. I'm very sad and you are making me laugh. It isn't right to laugh when you are facing eternal damnation. 
B: Luke, people tell stories to explain things they don't understand. And they make up rules about the stories to control people so they don't get too out of hand. 
L But my father sacrificed his life to take the gospel to people who were in despair.
B: That's good. The Christian Gospel teaches the sacred worth of every human being and that we must do unto others the way we want them to treat us.
L: Yes. 
B: That is very important in societies where people don't recognize the worth of other people.
L: Yes, women and children live horrible lives when they are bought and sold like commodities.
B: Right. And missionaries have made a big difference in places where weaker people are at the mercy of predators.
L: That's right. I'm proud of my father's work.
B: And how is the Christian Gospel working out for you?
(pause)
L: I thought if I prayed enough and tried hard enough I'd be delivered from temptation.
B: Not happening?
L: I was so sad. I sinned and I couldn't stop. 
B: So? 
L: I didn't kill myself. Not on purpose. But I couldn't sleep and I guess I forgot how many pills I took. And I shouldn't have been drinking. But it was wine. Jesus drank wine. He drank real wine. They didn't have any way of refrigerating grape juice. 
B: Luke, tell me what you want.
L: What I want?
B: Like if you could start over -- a new life. 
L: I would want to be straight. Normal. Like my dad. A regular guy.
B: Really?
L: No. I really liked who I was. But I want it to be okay to be me. I want to be someplace where it isn't a sin to feel the way I do.
B: You know, in the TSP you create your own reality.
L: Things are the way they are.
B: Actually you create your own reality here too. But it takes longer. And what you want gets scrambled up with what other people want you to want.
L: I want what I want to want.
B: What's your favorite ride?
L: When I was in Italy -- foreign exchange student -- I had a neat little Vespa. So cute. I had more fun; met more guys. 
B: Oh look! Is this a Vespa?
L: Ha! It looks just like Hal.
B: And I have Hal's little brother. Want to take a ride?
L: Where will we go?
B: It's kind of dark here. Do you see any light?
L: I do. Yes. Up there. I thought it was a star but it's getting bigger.
B: Let's go there.
L: Okay. I'm tired of sitting in the dark. 
B: Here we go! Wheeeeeee!
L: Hey, look up there. That's my dad. 
B: Where? 
L: Straight ahead. He's waving!
B: Sure enough. Hi, Luke's Dad!
L: Omigosh, check it out! 
B: What ? 
L: His suit. It's Armani!

It must be Russian Week in Wake-up Pages Land. 
Nov. 26, 2014

L: I'm here. I'm Lenin
Me: Lenin?
L: I'm the Lenin of Russia. 
M: Vladimir Lenin?
L: It's me the leader of Soviet Russia.
M: How can I help? 
L: It's not easy being HERO.
M: No, I don't suppose it is. I don't really know much about you.
L: I freed my people from the Czar.
M: I guess a lot of people were grateful.
L: Ha.
M: So where are you?
L: I'm in a dark gray endless SONOGRAM.*
M: What?!
L: It's endless. There is nothing here that anyone can see or touch.
M: Why are you there?
L: Because I am waiting to be born.
M: I'd better call Ben.
B: Hi. I'm Ben. 
L: I'm Vladimir Lenin. That isn't really my name, but Donya can't write my real name. You know who I am. 
B: I do.
L: I want to be born and start over.
B: You can't do that from here. You have to move on to the TSP.
L: Why?
B: You wouldn't be here if you weren't holding on to something from the past.
L: I'll let go.
B: Okay. Let's go to the TSP.
L: Is it going to be as bad as what I did to the people who followed me?
B: What do you mean? 
L: I knew it would be bad. But I believed in a new era of freedom.
B: Things don't always work out, do they?
L: I didn't mean to make it worse.
B: Why don't we move on to the TSP and see how your team mates are doing. 
L: Team mates?
B: You didn't do it alone, did you?
L: I was responsible. I was. 
B: You were highlighted in a moment of catastrophic change. But you didn't cause it. You grabbed your board and surfed the tidal wave. You are far more egotistical than you should be if you believe you caused or could have prevented all the changes that took place in that moment in history.
L: I know. But my body is in Red Square being the symbol of all those changes. I'd like to be buried like a normal person. Everyone loves or hates me to excess. 
B: You lived a larger-than-life life.
L: I did. But I'm tired of it now. 
B: I suspect that if you go home and quit haunting your tomb...
L: You think that's what I'm doing?
B: I think you are soaking up energy from the visitors and letting them keep you alive. 
L: Yes I am.
B: Go home and let your memory fade.
L: Will they forget me?
B: Is that what you want? 
L: I don't want to be forgotten. But I'd like to be remembered softly, as part of the picture, not the focus.
B: Come on. I'll take you to the TSP.  And the people will let you rest. 
L: All right. I'll leave my body for them and I'll take my spirit to the Timeless, Spaceless place.

* I have no idea why he used that word.

Wednesday's (12/3/14) Wake-up pages visitor was Clever. That's his name.

C: It's a silly name, but it's mine.
Me: What can I do for you, Clever?
C: I need help finding my tractor.
Me: Your tractor?
C: Yes, I lost it. 
Me: A real tractor? 
C: Yes Ma'am. It was a John Deere. I need it to do my plowing, planting, discing, rowing. (?) I need it to do my work.
Me: You're a farmer?
C: I surely am.
Me: How did you lose your tractor?
C: I was driving it and I was-- I was-- I-- I was driving the tractor and I stopped. I wanted to walk to the house and I fell down. And I couldn't get up. And then I saw the tractor over there but I couldn't touch it. Like it was a ghost tractor or something.
Me: I don't think it's the tractor that is the ghost.
C: Oh. I am. I'm a ghost? Dead? Oh doggone it. That makes sense. I'm dead.
Me: Do you think you can move on now? 
C: I'm not even sure where I am.
Me: What do you see?
C: I can't see anything. It's almost like the back room at the general store where we used to play cards of an afternoon. So filled with smoke you could barely see your cards.
Me: Is it smokey where you are?
C: More like foggy. Doesn't satisfy like cigar smoke. It's just gray and gloomy.
Me: You need to move on to the Timeless, Spaceless Place so you can start over. 
C: I don't want to start over. I want to finish what I started. I bought a brand new tractor. I need to make the final payment on it. Don't want Helen and Steven to have to deal with that.
Me: Wife and son? 
C: Fine woman. Good boy. At least most of the time. 
Me: I'll get Ben.
B: Hi Clever. 
C: Howdy Ben. 'Scuse my appearance; I seem to be dead.
B: Don't worry about it. A lot of great people are dead.
C: I suppose you're right. 
B: Want to cross over? 
C: Well, I'm sure that would be fine but I'm worried about leaving my wife and son with that tractor to pay off. I don't want it to be repossessed. They're going to need it.
B: It's all right. Your neighbors have taken up a collection to pay it off.
C: Seriously? Why would they do that?
B: Oh you know. They're your neighbors. They're concerned about your wife and son. Apparently you're widely respected in your town. 
C: Well I've always tried to do right by everybody. Lend a helping hand when I could.
B: You and that tractor have quite a reputation. Apparently you plowed more than a few acres for friends who needed help. And I heard something about rescuing a horse that got trapped in a mud hole.
C: Lands yes! What a day that was. Poor old Lefty.
B: Lefty? The horse?
C: Silly name for a horse. But we got him out of that hole, none the worse.
B: These folks don't want your family to lose that tractor. Besides, nobody seems to like the guy who sold it to you. They don't want him to get it back.
C: Ha! That's the truth, ain't it? The man's a shark. He'd repossess his mother's teeth if he got the chance.
B: So it looks like your tractor is safe and you can move on to the TSP.
C: Are you talking about Heaven?
B: Not just Heaven.
C: Oh good. I'm a God-fearing man and I read the good book but I don't care much for the prospect of living in paradise with nothing to do. It would be like being in church all the time.
B: I know what you mean. An hour or two of that was about all I could ever take. 
C: So I could go someplace else? But not hell?
B: Sure, you can create whatever you want. The TSP is where all of creation happens. 
C: That sounds like fun. I've always enjoyed inventing things. 
B: This is your chance to invent a new life. 
C: Can I create a new life with Helen and Steve in it?
B: Sure can. You just have to focus.
C: Well dang, I sure know how to do that. Let's go.